Haven’t blogged for a very long time. Thoughts kind of went to drought at the same pace as typing the keyboard. A lot of things happened in the past several months. Home visit, came back, 1st wave of busy season, Golden Globe, Oscar, Grammy’s, Super Bowl, NCAA, now with the earthquake, hurricane, Libra chaos, and new start of NFL and MLB.
Yesterday marked fall’s start of this year. Without noticing it, it’s already kicking off my 3rd year in New York. Today as I was strolling along the street, I realized I almost forgot who I was two years ago, the first time I stepped on Manhattan, the curiosity of first glance of all stuff for real from Sex and the City, the sunshine and yellow leaves fell on the narrow street and the red brick buildings that I later learned as “Pre-war” apartment building. I didn’t know anything and had only $5 in the bank. Two years flies away so fast!
New associates started coming in to our team this week. They also broughted in the nostalgia side of me, together with the blue/gray/rainy background color of autumn. Where was my goal, motivation, and spirit now? Back then just wanted an ipod touch made me feel guilty for a month. Now I wanted a new one, plus an ipad, a new laptop, lots of nice clothes and shoes. I used to fully utilize every night after work doing meaningful things. Now it’s just a blink and “Oh, it’s time to go to bed”. Back then I learned everything so quickly like a starving man sees bread. Now tons of information keeps feeding me but it’s just so hard to absorb and grave into my brain, for whatever reason that I just can’t figure out. The aftermath of alcohol is even more desparate and empty to deal with. Can’t do anything about it. Am I just sitting here and waiting for death? This feeling sucks.
I’m so disappointed at myself, and so does everyone else.
“It was official. A new season had begun.
Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps, if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come in to your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know, the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you are very lucky, a plane ride away.”
